i can feel my heart breaking like da glass.. im falling apart!i miss him everyday, every minute, every second!! i just cant take my mind off him every single time! i can feel his existence..which is sumting to do physcologically..haihz..y do i feel this way!! y do i haf to feel this way! i cant suffer anymore!! i cant take it!! i can feel my stomach aching!! oush!! IT HURTS!! its so hard to love sum1!! esp sum1 u cant really keep in touch with-not at all..as far as im concerned..i am so desperate n depressed!! get me out of this!! i feel so sick!! if only sum miracle ought to happen!! ive always been day n night-dreaming about him..plus da lil fantasy i haf in my mind-me n him! how perfect n sensational if he could appears infront of me! well.. again..im not making any sense..i tried my best 2 erase him out of my memory..but how can i! he's too..lovable..?

heres a song-lyric i wanna dedicate 2 him..

look into my eyes-you'll see
what u mean to me
search ur heart, search ur soul
and when u find me there, u'll search no more
dont tell me its not worth tryin for
you know its true
everything i do-i do for you

look into my heart-you will find
there's nothing there to hide
take me as i am-take my life
i would give it all i would sacrifice
dont tell me its not worth fighthing for
i cant help it there's nothing i want more
ya know its true
everything i do-i do for you

there is no love-like ur love
n no other-could give more love
there's nowhere-unless u r there
all the time-all the way

dont tell me its not worth tryin for
i cant help it there's nothing i want more
i would fight for you..i'd lie for you
walk the wire for you, ya i'll die for you

some ppl juz cant live with their own life n had to interrupt n even ruin others life.. WHY?? too free..? or mayb their just jealous..?? im so annoyed by ppl with this kind of atittude! its not pleasant at all..seeing ur face n ur unsensible act..i feel like throwing out..mind u..pls think properly and sensibly b4 u talk or tryin 2 attempt sum funny act o joke that u think its so cool n hialrious..ha-ha..L-A-M-E! obviously u haf a big D displayed on ur face..Desperate! do u noe da word shame?? pls la..i pity u man! irritating bastards n bitches.. well..suddenly..sumting..how shld i put it..erm..strange..n impossible..crossed my mind..wat if all the annoyin ppl suddenly disappeared?? i assure u this world will definately b a better place to live.. MUCH BETTER! how sweet~

also..i realised they r so many fake-2 faces ppl in this world! bcareful!!! u never noe their been real n true o sarcastic n is bhind sumting evilish..(juz a reminder) u wouldnt wanna b corn by their dirty little tricks..ppl around u even da closest-harmless(dun judge a book by its cover!) of all can b simply dangerous...this world is filled with lies..

i've been busy recently..doing some reading..(novel) and also bz resting since im still sick! this time along with serious flu but mild cough.. dont feel like blogging these days..mainly bcoz of my weakness..im energyless and tired.. anyway..boys r such weird creatures..i really dont understand them,..they say girls r hard 2 understand but i find da same theory about guys..unpreditable minds..never know what r they thinking..sensible..? lol.. i miss HIM! cant get my mind off him..keep thinking about him..what he might b doing..n so on..i noe frm da very beginning its wrong! im not suppose 2 feel n act this way..its ..unacceptable..? but like i say..really cant help it la! he is so presentable n capable!-agree wit me..(yes,everyone does) feel so uneasy lately..esp in school..aikz.dunno wats got into me..juz hope things will get better as time passes by..hoping 4 a miracle!

i have to admit my family as in my mum n dad r not very much a planner..they simply sucks in planning..esp with my future! but thats not all..its oni a minor part of it..there r so much more..uncountable!! so can u imagine how terrible it is! i guess u can sort of picture it..but unfortunately they cant! what the hell rite! im 15 n i c it but they JUST cant! ridiculous..? yup, thats SO my family..! (sigh in a big disappointment) sad? no..i find it..PATHETIC! when i wanna "discuss" it with them, they juz wouldnt listen n here it goes again..based on the reason i-gave-birth-to you-so-i-know-BETTER theory! n start giving sum worst then physics lecture..so dry..! now i realised y i love da "i not stupid movie" so much..really related to my life.. but im pretty sure mine is worst..no only lack of communication n love(esp my mum)..aso sum other stuff that i shldnt b tellin..so..i wont b telling! im positive my parents absolutely dun fit in the category of role models.. they r another way around..i hope ill never b like them! NEVER! Lets juz pray hard! how i wish i can tell them wat a big failure they r..FAILURES!! wake up mama n papa(yucks..gross..feel like puking) XP u haf my sympathy! ;P

no big deal.. but y must they make it till such a big deal..n call themselves the proper..the correct one.. for me lets juz say..sum bitches who have nothing better to do..makin **** noises.. really getting annoyed as days grow by..so obnoxious n hatred.. feel like throwing out! on da bitch's face! mess wit me! u reli dunno wats da word DIE huh!? ill show u! better watch out! say whatever u 1..yes..im threatening u n so yes im gonna make ur life miserable..who started it 1st! ;P well.. i can b very nice n also very very mean! no mercy! n whoever who's tryin 2 hack my acc o wat so ever..u better b careful! y cant u **** ppl juz stop annoyin n makin my life miserable n ruin it! i had enough!! shut da **** up!!! damn..u ppl reli pisses me off! for once..i really feel like makin u ppl disappear n out of my sight.. pain in the ass! if u think u r so incredible then stop actin uncivilise..hopeless n meaningless,suckers! **** off!

im not feeling well esp in school! hardly talk nor smile.. im sick..cough+ sorethroat.. wat could b worst..lovesick! i realised that shawn lee is such a genius! he masters everything n for sure he is pretty strong in his english! (perfect english wei) speak like american! how brilliant..lol.. ok..enough about him..sry..bare wit me.. i noe i can b too much n b all crappy n annoyin! im juz been content..been able to get into his life..watelse can i ask for! well..nothin much about 2day.. happy 2 skip my piano n replace it with a nice nap.. oh..health check up..in school..gd eyesight..n i found out that i oni grew 2 cm since last yr which mde me 167cm now! n my weight..ahem* 48.5 kg..defeated many gals le..lol..hopefully i can remain in dis weight..n grow another 3 cm! my target is 170 le..lol..but many of them told me "dont b crazy la" =( aikz..IPOD..im comin 2 u soon..b patient..

i realise how boring n colourless my life is after reading a few of my so called frens blogs..they have the life that is fill with excitement, suprises and most importantly..fun!! for once..i really wish im like..1 of them..? never noe.. how sad n pathetic can my life b??? nothing goes rite! i really need sum luck! i had enough of dis kind of sickenin life..*cough* god!! buddha!! anybody!!help me!! gimme guardiance..let me go.. out of this.. i seriously need 2 do sumting!! mind..anybody give me a hand..help pls?! haihz.. ouch..i really hope 2 get an ipod!! 2 cheer things up..

(sentimental)

thanks to the anonymous who gave me shawn's personal blog..if u r reading dis..i juz wanna say a million thanks..u dunno how much it means to me..im so grateful n gladful!! u made my day..brightened up my life! its my biggest hope n dream 2 get 2 noe him indirectly coz i knew frm da very beginning i wont getta noe him in person.. how cool!!! i getta noe wats up with his life..although he din reli post recently.. im still very happy and satisfy with it! get 2 noe him silently INVISIBLY.. i found out a few things bout him..basketball freak..lol..very hardworking..study n finish his h/w..really a role model! he has everything it takes..a dream guy he is..he's juz so...perfect..?? lol..mayb..(geez..reallyquite a no. of them r after him =( ) so competitive!! lolz..

i was helping out in school today..due to my school is the organiser of the MSSD basketball competition/tournament.. among few schools in subang jaya area..n wat could b worst?? all girls!! =_=" no leng chai 2 c lo! what a waste! since..i mean..normally thats wat guy basketballers r sppose 2 b ritez.. i skip all my classes and spent the entire day in the court doing the registration part..checking ICs and i love it! no maths..science..geo n everythin..lol.. lazy bum! well..this is bcoz i personally figured out that is gd to skip school once in awhile with a reasonable reason..helping the school.. =)(crappy me)but i seriously need to b active n participate in school activities otherwise im so gonna b blacklisted o at least..b unrecognisable as a gd student.. which is a nightmare for me..i dun want that to happen!! no one does!! i wanna b recognised as a helpful, active n smart student.. A star student! anyway..back to the basketball..its under 18..all so feminine..oh.. erm..actually unfortunately not really! i cant really tell whether they r guys o gals.. some r superb tomboyish..sry..no offense..but..seriously..they really look like guys..man! i cant really identify it unless i look at da...b**bs..lol.. anyway..they are so cool and yeng le..im so jealous but in the meantime salute! i c another world today..i learn alot n experience new stuff..really "open my eyes"..i can obviously c dat they haf a life! which i dun reli haf..mine is juz boring..meaningless and hopeless..i met so many new ppl..n realise sum stuff.. sadly to say i realised im just a body without a soul..i have no life! mainly bcoz everybody juz simply love ruining my life! esp my mum! n sum horrible frens! even teachers..='( haihzz neway enough bout dat..can never get enough..(complains).. n i went for my maths tuition class(replacement) sucks..didnt go any better..i cant wait 4 2mrw..im gonna help again..thanks to my dearest and kindest teacher! im really enjoyin myself ..hehe..

Anti M!!

aikz..presentation today..my very own speech and its about geisha..i wrote about it..mainly bcoz i find it ..interesting..? i guess so.. i got an A! wherelse most of them got A+! failure failure failure!! i guess i'll just have to try harder da nxt time..and put in more effort..i figured i din do very well in da research part..c..im willing to spot and correct my mistake! anyway teacher's expectations r beyong my limits..i have no doubt she is a good teacher though..da oni so called cute guy in my class did pretty well..i like it da best! simple yet adorable..lol..i read a few blogs just now..pretty interesting..love 2 read those spoilt brats' blogs..sayin how wonderful, awesome, fun and nearly perfect their lifes r but 1 thing..nobody's life is perfect..(bare in mind) rich n famous! roxy..concerts..yamcha..haagen daaz(im not sure the spelling)..mp3s..ipods..laptops..fav mags..gossips.. "how cool"! i guess i wouldnt mind to haf a life like dat..lol..but i feel bad 4 my dad's pocket!..but i desperately need an ipod!! wats is life without music.."no music..no life" my theory..i just want sumting to brighten up my day n kick off my super boring life! thats all i ask for..i guess its not too much rite! haihzz..if oni they understand..

i think im really in love with shawn lee(tom in i not stupid) i noe..sounds insane huh...its like m i out of my mind o sumting..its almost impossible..o mayb not possible at all..i cant help it la..he looks so yeng and sweet ..meantime..i can feel da slight pain in me.. i dun even noe him! i mean..perhaps..love at 1st sight..? but i din even meet him face to face in da 1st place..mayb he might look real..but its not gonna happen..im pretty sure about dat..but i can feel my heart tearing into pieces..i feel so miserable..now i noe..lovin sum1 u cant get its so miserable! i need chocolates!! to make me feel better..i guess..but its not getting any better!! i guess he just carved a deep line in my heart.. i love him! lol..im reli crazy about him!! but meantime reli makes no sense at all ..! im blank! i reli dunno wat 2 do..im clueless..wats up with dis feelings..? help!! i guess im just desperate..o sumting like dat.. i reli need sumbody like him 2 fill up da empty spaces in me! i want dis feeling to fade..im havin a hard time even to breath! im gonna b crazy sooooon!! (heartbroken) :'-(

im so in love wit dat theme song of i not stupid too "yi sheng jue wang" by Hong Jun Yang.. it s so nice 2 listen to..irresistable!! cant get my ear off it..the lyrics r meaningful ..although im a banana but i can still understand though..lol..



("i not stupid too" freak)

ohh~how sweet~ thats my 1st respond when i open up my present ..frm my best fren! finally..after how many weeks had passed..she finally got me sumting..lol..im really grateful to haf her as my best fren.. well..back to da present..its like a piece of wood..but its not juz a wood! its a wonderful piece of wood! lol..im sayin dat bcoz..da content is reli touching n beautiful.. this is how its sounds like.......

koon~ aso bought a frenship card wit a special frenship bracelet..that sounds like dis....."u might not b da prettiest o the smartest..but u surely r the bestest fren" oh..n.."none of this can compare to the bond of frenship between u and me" she is such a sweetheart n darling!! i love her.. =) reli dunno what would life b without her..

9 of april..sunday..family day..=) so we decided 2 hit the cinema n chose 2 watch "i not stupid too" together.. n i reli enjoyed every bits of it.. this movie totally reveals about life, how life is nowadays.. that is somehow related to many teenagers.. including me..lol..spooky huh.. its like.."based on true stories"..can u imagine how real it is! this is wat i call reality.. bleh..dun even noe wat m i crappin..lol.. anyway..dis is wat blogs r meant for rite..?for you 2 crap all u 1..lol..reli cant stop thinking about da movie n of course cute shawn lee(tom) muakzz.. he is so adorable n charming.. (cut n paste aso frm previos post)

this is my 1st time writing 1 of dis..excited?? definately!! everyone hav their 1st time rite..? well i juz simply feel like bloggin coz it looks fun n nice..been able to express urself n all..i guess i made a right choice 2 blog frm now on..lol..actually, i was inspired by my current fav movie "i not stupid too"..love it.. it looks so "cool" 2 blog.. i haf so much 2 say..till..i dun noe where 2 start!! weird huh..thats juz me.. (frm my previous blog, cut n paste)